Alvin Greene: The Perfect Plant?

There is much to be learned from the South Carolina Senate primary race, and by much I mean only one thing: If you lose, it can’t possibly be your own fault.

Alvin Greene may or may not have been a plant. So what? Can anyone name his opponent? Just in case you can’t, it’s Vic Rawl.  Rawl had an incredible non-stop campaign for his party’s nomination. This tour-de-force included some half-hearted sign-waving and an occasional youtube video that looked as if it were shot with a home video camera – -  not a late model HD Flip Cam, mind you; a VHS videocamera from the 1980s which, with a lot of duct tape and by the grace of God, someone was able to connect to the internet. So maybe the outcome of this race wasn’t all the fault of whoever created Al Greene.

The fallout has been much more amusing than the race itself.  Prior to this race, I had never heard a reporter inquire about a candidate’s mentally and physical soundness or  ask if a candidate was “impaired by anything,” as Greene was asked on CNN Live…and that includes hours of George Bush interviews and speeches in which he misspoke and giggled more than most people I know.  There have also been numerous interviews of other Democrats furious with the outcome wherein they have been getting creative in their wording.  Representative Clyburn stated in a really lame World Wrestling Entertainment-esque way that he saw “…elephant dung all over the place,” during the Democratic Primary.  Unfortunately, he lacks the charisma…and entrance music/video of John Cena, so his commentary fell flat for me.

And lawsuits, THERE WILL BE LAWSUITS [emphasis intended]. The Democratic Party will sue whomever they can link to this situation, which should include some of their own, according to everyone who has been interviewed.  They will find the culprits. And if they don’t find the wrong-doers, they will grab random student reporters by the arms, shake them, and menacingly ask them who they are.

Democrats do have a point, though. Greene, who is unemployed, came up with the $10,000.00 filing fee. He also has criminal charges against him and sounds a little “off” in his interviews.

The best argument against Greene’s being a Republican plant is that the GOP undoubtedly would have chosen a better fake candidate. Think about it. If you were to pick a plant, wouldn’t you pick someone who could speak at least semi-articulately and had done a little something for his community?  You would want this fake candidate to lose in the end to the incumbent Republican by saying racist things or admitting to a strip club addiction. Or maybe that’s what I would want, because it would be amusing in a sadly par-for-the-course kind of way (See: Jack Ryan, sex clubs, Star Trek: Voyager, and how President Obama ever became a Senator).  If you were going to invest $10,000.00 plus whatever this election is going to cost, you would invest just a little bit more in your actor, wouldn’t you?

Either way, your South Carolina Democratic Senate nominee is Alvin Greene. He won the majority of the vote. Get over it. It’s not as if he or Rawl had a prayer of winning that seat from incumbent Senator Jim DeMint anyway.