Six Catholics, two Jews, and three possible nominees all walk into a courtroom (no this isn’t the start to a joke). This is, however, the start to a joke called our judicial nomination process. Supreme Court Justice John Paul Stevens recently announced his retirement. I’m sure the nomination discussion will focus on the absurd rather than the critical, so let me throw my own absurdity into the mix.
As the President and Senate gear up for a historic fight over the future composition of the Court, we will undoubtedly hear a call for a pick for diversity. I’m not sure what the cause of the week is, but I suggest that our politicians keep some key facts in mind. First of all, Justice Stevens is an old, white, Protestant male. Of the many bantered about candidates to fill his seat, there is currently only one who is also Protestant. I would like to be the first to actively call for his full consideration based upon the religious diversity he offers for the Court’s composition. How will we possibly be able to survive as a nation if the next Court is entirely made up of people who are either Catholic or Jewish? There will be no Protestant representation at all? For that matter, what about Buddhists, Hindus, or Wiccans?
Secondly, Justice Stevens is of average height. This is a bit of a travesty because each nominee is fairly tall and all of the justices are of average height as well. I propose that the cause of the week for this nominee be little people. I don’t remember ever seeing a single little person nominated for the Supreme Court. Little people overcome many more obstacles than most other groups overcome during their own lives. There was an episode of Little People Meet Big World in which the Roloffs visited a little person friend who taught law at a college in Washington. I wonder if he is available? I’ve never been a part of a Supreme Court nomination discussion, but if I were I would recommend a little person.
Ultimately, we really shouldn’t care about little things like past rulings or judicial philosophy of a Supreme Court nominee. We especially shouldn’t care about those things for a nominee to replace Justice Stevens. All I want to see is a Protestant little person from a geographic area not yet represented on the court.
Lyburn earned his Bachelors Degree from Cornell University and has professional experience in the Maryland Office of the Governor and in financial services. 
